Friday, July 10, 2009

My view of the struggle

Corrine, Wifey's good friend, posted about a tough day. Even saying it like that doesn't do it justice. It was one of those days that makes parenting not seem worth the effort. How sad is that to admit to. We've all had them. We do our best, maybe a little of our worst comes out, but no matter what we try the kids don't want to work with us. Her story made me think about bedtime last night, when I got fed up by the lack of love coming my way...

I come at this conversation from a different angle than Corrine, or Wifey - I'm gone almost 90% of the kid's day. When I do get home it is dinner, maybe a little play, bath, books and bed. With a HUGE amount of screaming and general mayhem thrown in. The end result is the very small amount of time I get to see my 3 amigos is usually quite chaotic. I try to savor every bit of it, but when my little girl throws a fit each and every night, screaming that she wants Mommy to put her to bed (and now the littlest one has learned to join in) it's really hard to grin and suck it up and try to be happy with them. Tucking in should be a happy time, not a time for ear-shattering screaming right?

I lost it last night. I'll try to do better tonight. I know it is silly and a waste of time and energy to expect these little people to understand that it is nice to share the love. How can they know how important it is for Dad to get some snuggle time too? It's not that they don't want Daddy time, it's just that as soon as the book is done it is Mommy or else. It's tough on Wifey to be all things to all people so I try to stick up for her and say nope, it's a Daddy night. But then the screaming starts, as it always does, and I end up leaving the room to one unhappy 3 year-old. I/we should know better. Having Mommy climb into bed after putting the other down is a small price to pay for peace and happiness, we just have to remember that in the moment.


Corinne said...

Always good to hear this sort of thing from another point of view. We've dealt with this one too, them needing ME ME ME when I finally could be off the hook :) Thanks, friend :)

morninglight mama said...

Isn't a good thing that we hardly ever break down simultaneously-- when one needs a break, the other magically finds the reserved strength to keep on trucking.

So, a new approach may be needed at bedtime, and perhaps it's just not that big a deal if we both end up snuggling with her each night. I don't want you to lose out on some special time with her, and the screaming is simply wearing me OUT!

Love you so!!