I can't believe I'm doing this...

I apologize. I'm ashamed. She's making me do this. I love her, more than life itself, so I can't say no. The silver lining? She's been hardcore blogging for almost two years and this is the first time I've been sucked into something like this. :)

So here's how it works. According to her, first there is a question. Then, I give the answer I think she'd give. Then, hilarity will ensue (to be determined) as I answer the question for myself. Eventually we'll compare asnwers and the laughter will reach even greater levels. I promise, it will be at least as much fun as it sounds.

Well, can't put it off any more.....

1. She's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?

My answer for her- (what she's watching) I'm not sure how specific I need to be on this. I know it will be something funny. Every once in a while she'll get totally stuck on a show (i.e. Charmed, Sex in the City, The Beverly Hillbillies) but now isn't one of those times so this is tougher. Alright, if I have to pick something it'll have to be Grey's Anatomy. I know, not real funny but for some reason she digs McNuty or McDrooly or whatever.
My answer for me- (what am I watching) Seriously? How easy is this? Um... sports. More specific? Basketball. And in any other year I'd say the Terps but they're killing me so I'll just leave it at college basketball.

2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does she get on her salad?

My answer for her- Ranch. I'm sure this will get harder but this one was easy.
My answer for me- One of two things... ranch or honey mustard. I'll go with honey mustard 'cause I think that's what she'll say. Do we get points for correct answers? Is this like the old Wheel of Fortune and we'll get to buy the bedroom set and the dog statue with the leftover money? I miss that old Wheel!

3. What's one food she doesn't like?

My answer for her- Crunchy stuff in her food. Onions, garlic, stuff like that. Oh, and green stuff.
My answer for me- Squishy stuff. Beans, peas, mushrooms, etc.

4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does she order?

My answer for her- Without kids? Amaretto sour, no doubt. With kids? Raspberry iced tea.
My answer for me- Without kids? Beer. With kids? Beer. More specific? Killians or Bass if they have it.

5. Where did she go to high school?

My answer for her- Seriously? I thought these were going to be harder than this. Plainfield HS in beautiful Plainfield CT. Valedictorian if I do say so myself. Or for her. This whole answering for her business is confusing me. I thought it was nice that they waited for her to leave and then they built the beautiful new school. F'ers.
My answer for me- Cornwall Central High in Cornwall NY. Yuppers, 750 kids in 8th-12th grade. Not exactly a bustling metropolis but in retrospect a very nice place to grow up.

6. What size shoe does she wear?

My answer for her- Before kids? 8.5. After kids? 13.5. No... just kidding. 9.5.
My answer for me- 13. Yeah, I wish that old saying were truer.

7. If she was to collect anything, what would it be?

My answer for her- Socks. Oh, wait. That's me for her. I had a habit of buying her cool socks for when she was teaching. She was the coolest teacher on that playground! But for real? I'd have to say books. Ever since she started writing for 5M4B this place has started to look even more like a library than before. And that is saying something.
My answer for me- I used to display my collection of nutcrackers, until we ran out of room and they got packed away in the attic. Same for my beer glasses. So, if I had to say something I'd actually like to collect, it would probably be (and I'll eat my hat if she gets this right) a return to my baseball card collection. I used to love to do that, and it would be great to actually have the time and money to share that with JAM and eventually Red and PUDGE.

8. What is her favorite type of sandwich?

My answer for her- Turkey and cheddar on wheat with mayo and a little bit of black pepper. Yeah, guess who gets to go on all the Subway runs?
My answer for me- My favorite growing up was the meatball parm from Prima Pizza in Cornwall. Oh man I used to love those. Homemade meatballs and sauce by this old guy who worked there for like 100 years (I am sick I can't remember his name!!!). As for a regular sandwich nowadays... I'd go with an italian sub. No one down here makes them well enough though. Man I miss those little Italian sub shops in NY.

9. What would she eat every day if she could?

My answer for her- um... that's a tough one... oh yeah... CHOCOLATE!!!!!!! Any size, shape, form, weight, temperature, it doesn't matter. Chop it up and pour it in her mouth and keep going until she passes out.
My answer for me- Does beer count? No, probably not. I'm going to be impressed, but not surprised, if she gets this one... the ice cream cakes from Carvel. You know, the ones with the little chocolate crunchies? OMG, they are like, so amazing!

10. What is her favorite cereal?

My answer for her- It's a toss up between Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch and Cookie Crisp. I'd have to go with the Cap'n on this one if I had to choose.
My answer for me- Regular 'ol Cap'n Crunch. Man I love that stuff.

11. What would she never wear?

My answer for her- Those annoying Jersey-girls sunglasses that everyone's been wearing for a few years now. Man she hates those. Is there really any reason you want to wear half a winshield on your face?
My answer for me- Anything with my collar popped. Or anything those orange guys wore. If there were ever an ad for castration....

12. What is her favorite sports team?

My answer for her- Nothing. She hates sports. She used to try to put up with it for me but then we hit the two week mark and she stopped pretending. So, my answer? The Brisbane Broncos from the Australian National Rugby League. It's a real team, I looked 'em up.
My answer for me- The Yankees. I'm thinking she'll say the Terps but if I had tickets to the Yanks and the Terps on the same day I'd definitely choose the Yanks.

13. Who did she vote for?

My answer for her- As Red would say... Rock A'bama.
My answer for me- Ditto.

14. Who is her best friend?

My answer for her- I'd say her hetero life partner, L.
My answer for me- D from DBCJ fame.

15. What is something you do that she wishes you wouldn't do?

My answer for her- Leave my nail clippings laying around after I "trim." I sometimes forget to clean up after myself.
My answer for me- Dude, can you please clean your hair from out of the bathroom sink? PLEASE? It's just nasty.

16. What is her heritage?

My answer for her- She claims to be "French" but I don't think there is a tree big enough to actually trace that far back. Oh, and a healthy dose of hairy Spanish women are thrown in there too. But seriously, she's Connecticutian. Her whole big scary nutso family.
My answer for me- The only identifiable chunk is Irish. I'm sure there is a lot of other western European thrown in there but I'd have to have parents who cared to make that a part of our culture to know.

17. You bake her a cake for her birthday; what kind of cake?

My answer for her- Start by seeing question #9. Then, take said chocolate cake and batter it and deep fry it. Then, cover it in chocolate icing and deep fry it again. Then, cover THAT in chocolate ice cream and you're starting to get close.
My answer for me- See question #9. I really do love those little crunchy things.

18. Did she play sports in high school?

My answer for her- bwaaaaa-hahahahaahaaahhhahahahaaaaa!!!!! I think I remember her trying to tell me that Academic Decathelon was a sport at her school. Oh wow, geeks are so cute.
My answer for me- Yeah, I tried just about everything, was only moderately decent at basketball. I was always the big goofy white guy who fell down a lot though. It's good that some things don't ever change.

19. What could she spend hours doing?

My answer for her- reading, no question.
My answer for me- playing ball, working outside, hiking with the kids, woodworking if I ever get a shop to do it in. Oh, we need one answer right? Okay, playing ball it is.

20. What is one unique talent she has?

My answer for her- my beautiful lady has what I affectionately call monkey feet. She can pick up anything, and I mean anything, with her toes. Have you ever seen the videos of the poor women who've lost their arms, or are born without, and they can drive, write, cook, change diapers, etc. with just their feet? Wifey is jealous of them. I'm pretty sure it's a sickness. Oh, and she can tie a cherry stem with her teeth and tongue. NICE!
My answer for me- I dunno... I'm really good at Tetris? This guy isn't very unique so I'm not sure what to say on this one. How about I used to be able to parallel park a bus? Oh forget it. It's 11:30 and I'm getting up early to play ball tomorrow.

Anyhow, so there you go. I hope you've all enjoyed yourselves and if I can leave you with one last favor... please don't make YOUR significant other(s) - you know, just in case Hef reads my blog - do this on your anniversary. :)

HAPPY 15 YEARS BABY!!!!! And no one ever gave us a chance. HA! Look how gud we turnded owt?