A tale of two Reds

Soccer practice for Red. So much anticipation, so much opportunity for fun, excitement, breakdowns... oh yes, you get the idea. Last week was Week 1, and we started out with high hopes:

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Wifey was awesome. She ran, cheerleaded, cajoled, encouraged... all was great.

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Yes, all was great, for about 10 minutes. Then, Wifey had the sheer audacity to suggest to Red that she shouldn't use her hands to pick up the ball. Oh... my... God... the break down was instantaneous and absolute.

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Suffice it to say that practice ended early for our dear Red. We spent about 15 minutes sitting on the bleachers trying to get her to calm down - to no avail. We finally gave it up and moved up around the side of the Youth Center to where the little basketball court is and the kids were able to run around and play without the "pressure" of an organized practice.

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Week 2 was yesterday and it was so much different - thanks to Wifey's week-long campaign of preparation for Red. They talked about the rules, what to expect, how fun it would be, etc. And Red rocked the house. Until another breakdown threatened to bring the storm clouds once again...


But again, Wifey to the rescue. Apparently Red was confused and upset because the group and coaches were playing a game that she didn't know the rules to. All week long Wifey had been prepping her for playing Red light-green light and Simon Says - two games they played the week before that confused her - causing the breakdown. But she was ready this week:

So while Red was ready for those a new game caused her to be unsure about what was going on. It seems that my little girl and her older brother both share that anxiety gene - they both need to know what's going on, what's going to happen, in order to be comfortable. But like I said, Wifey got her quickly calmed down and back into the action and all went really well. YEAH!!!!!

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- Jazz-Hands Mommy?

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It seems that Red might actually get to have some fun with this whole thing which is awesome because she loves to be moving, running, kicking... a little sporty lady to be sure... and soccer just seems like a natural outlet.

Here's hoping.

Proud

Earlier tonight was just awesome. My big guy, who we spend wayyyy too much time trying to keep on the straight and narrow, absolutely wowed us twice in one night. First, the spelling bee.

JAM brought home this monster spelling list that was something of a culminating list for 1st and 2nd quarters. 150ish words were on this thing. Some of them I don't think I'd be able to spell without writing them down (I am a man who LOVES SPELL CHECK!!!) It was a daunting list to say the least, especially for a kid who has to work as hard as he does to sit and concentrate on anything not Lego or Star Wars. But he and Wifey studied. And practiced. Hard. For many days. Practiced until words like thoroughbred and ninety nine and handkerchief came out flawlessly without fail.

Then, today was the big day. Actually, it was supposed to be yesterday but they got a one day reprieve from their teacher. For most kids I think that would be a blessing but for our little man it was just another day for the anxiety to build up. He admitted to feeling "real nervous" this morning as he thought about the upcoming event. Did he back down though? Nope. He threw his hat into that purely optional ring (yeah, he could have sat it out if he had wanted, like about half the class decided to do) and he aced that sucka. You heard me - he's one of three finalists from his class now. Got all 13 words he was asked correct. Didn't even pass on a single word. And I'm bragging. And I'm happy to do it.

The finals are tomorrow. The 3 finalists from each 4th grade class. As he said - "8 losers, 1 winner. I better be one of the winners." I didn't say he was the sharpest knife in the drawer, he just spells reel gud. Just like his old man.

So as I sat here tonight watching him absolutely engrossed in his book (with toes on both feet tapping and his left hand playing with his lips, nose, and cheeks - always moving) I was just in awe of this amazing kid. He shows his beautiful head on occasion, like when Wifey posted on FB about yesterday morning when this neverseenbefore kid got up early, all on his own with no grumbling or arguing (a small miracle unto itself), made his bed, came downstairs and made his own lunch.

Then, tonight, was proud moment of the day #2. We all loaded into the van to go see the big science fair backboard viewing thing at his school. They line up all the backboards and present the awards in the gym. It isn't anything formal, just a few hours when parents can walk through and check out all the different projects. In the middle of all the projects on rusting pennies and soda explosions and melting ice there was JAM's, sitting proud with his award taped on, and the smile on his face was priceless. He gave a little fist pump and I gave him a high five and that was it. No running around, no jumping up and down, no hysterics. Another piece of evidence that he's growing more mature every day. Of course I didn't think of taking a picture though. *smacking head* I take pictures of EVERYTHING and I miss that? I'll take one when it comes home for sure but in the moment would have been so much better.

Yup, tonight was a proud night.

JAM + Piano = this guy

Have you ever heard of TED? No, TED isn't a guy, it a conference where very smart people get together and talk about changing the world and spend time inspiring one another. It's uber expensive, ultra exclusive (you need to write essays on your application - they want a cross section of people, not all monochromatic like usual conferences) and brings together a truly amazing cast of speakers to stimulate your senses. I can't help but think that this type of environment might kick me in the right direction - get me interested in taking a leap of faith and get me to follow through on one of my brilliant ideas that I'm always too chicken to do anything with because of a whole host of factors - money, insurance, mortgage payments, you know, the little stuff...

Someday I hope to go but in the meantime I'm pacified in that many of their talks are available online - here's the 2009 conference website. It seems that most of the vids they put out are posted through their blog.

In looking at the site today I came across this performance. If you've got a few minutes, and want to see something that I think is pretty unique -



Yeah, this is definitely what JAM would do if we ever got him 20 years of piano lessons.

This probably isn't my place, but...

...I need to say something about it. Something really sad happened last night to a local family and it has grazed our family in a very unexpected way. A little boy in JAM's class, not someone I knew other than in passing at some events here and there, but according to all reports one of the sweetest little kids you'd ever be lucky enough to meet, passed away last night. Apparently this fantastic little guy had been born with some health problems and the fact his family got to be with him for 9 years was something of a miracle in itself.

So here we are, on the periphery (at best) of this tragic event, and it's amazing the effect is still so great. Wifey related to me that she can't get the image out of her head of the time, just last week, when she's helped him down the stairs off the school bus on JAM's class' field trip. Although I came home too late for the big talk with him and I missed it, JAM had his own feelings to work through regarding his interactions with his friend. Without going into too much detail, apparently his friend had some mobility challenges due to his illnesses and at times this year JAM had decided not to play with him while on recess in favor of playing kickball, which apparently did not include this young guy. It sounded like JAM was hard on himself for what he characterized as his being mean to his friend, but even though I wasn't there I don't think I'd go as far as saying it qualified as being mean. But, I wasn't there so I have no idea what was said or how it was said. We just have to help JAM think about the times he did play in the sandbox with his friend, the times they did have fun together.

I told JAM about the time I was in high school and a good friend of mine passed away. I told him how sad I was and it was good for me to be able to relate to him that way I think. We'll keep talking to him, and I'll make more special time for that tomorrow. Tonight I let him have something special that he's been wanting for a while - we let him watch two episodes of the animated Star Wars: the Clone Wars off the DVR. Hadn't let him watch that before - the violence is a bit much but I thought he's getting to the point of being fine with it (he'd probably already been there - it was us that was lagging) and he deserved something fun to get his mind off of the day. We all need that sometime right?

There are these life lessons that I know we'll have to go through, with all the kids, but that doesn't make it any easier to anticipate or to deal with. And again, we're so out there on the periphery of this sadness, I can't even come close to imagining how the family is doing right now. They are great people, and we're looking forward to doing whatever we can for them but we know they've got so many people who are closer than we were looking out for them. I just hope that some good comes out of this - the kids work to realize that life is short, that they need to be as good to each other as possible (one thing JAM said - this little guy was just nice to everyone, even if they were mean to him because of his disabilities he still just wanted to be every one's friend), and hopefully we're all surrounded by people who love us.

I'm not particularly religious, to any one deity or dogma, but I will pray that God's looking out for that family tonight and in the future. And I'm going to hold on to my little ones just a little tighter.

Another round of thanks

Having "enjoyed" a weekend of playtime with my Dad and JAM, I need to share my thanks. And I'll explain the quotes in a moment. This past weekend was the second annual (here for the first) boy's trip up to Williamsport, PA for the opening weekend of the Little League World Series. I feel like I said it all last year, except for another huge round of thank-you's to my Dad for joining us and especially for picking up the hotel tab. Wouldn't have been able to do the trip without that help so aside from being able to spend real quality time with him and JAM, he was really responsible for the whole thing and it was much appreciated.

But, I need to explain the quotes from above. "Enjoy" is about how I'm feeling about the whole trip and it is almost exclusively my fault. Much like every parent I'm sure, I have certain mental images running around in my noggin about how things are going to play out in all sorts of situations. I have visions for high school graduations, first weddings, second weddings (joking!), grandkids, very lucrative employment so these dang kids can take care of us when we're old and poor, etc., etc. This weekend was on a slightly smaller scale but not really any different. I had a vision, especially after last year and all of our (JAM and me) talks about what to expect this year, of being able to sit and actually watch some baseball with my Dad and my son. You know, we'd talk about what was going on down on the field, I'd explain some of the finer points of the game to my baseball-playing/loving son. We talked before hand about our (read - "MY") plan. Hill sliding would be fine, yes we'd get some treats along the way, yes we'd visit the fun-zone and throw balls and act silly at the games, but we-were-going-for-the-purpose-of-watching-baseball. (!!!)

Yeah, didn't so much work out that way. We brought our lawn chairs (which was a good idea because those hard metal bleachers are not so kind on the 'ol posterior) but that also meant we had to set up on the upper flat area in the outfield. And that meant sitting behind other people (locals) who know more about this setup than we do and they get there early and take up huge portions of the flat space so no matter what you have to sit behind someone. Wow, that was a long sentence and I'm sure not at all grammatically correct. So here we were, sitting behind mostly empty folding chairs but that meant JAM couldn't really see. And when you can't see something all that well you tend to get kinda bored with it. Can't blame him one bit. But, once you get bored you quickly find other things to do, including sliding and wanting treats and all the other crap we'd talked about.

To make an already long story shorter - JAM did very little baseball watching. Which meant that we got to do not as much baseball watching as we would have liked. For my Dad and I, we could sit in the outfield all dang day and watch wild pitch after passed ball (seriously, someone teach these kids how to catch already!!!) nice and serenely. JAM's got to move - no surprise there. And, for the most part, I let him go off on his own. For long periods of time too. We brought his (my old) pay-per-use phone so he had a way to get in touch with me if he had to but for the most part he just went off and played the games and went sliding and whatever the heck else he did. He showed up when some kid laughed at him on the hill (seriously, he needs to learn to laugh at himself a little bit so not everything is quite the end of the world drama he thinks it is), or when he was hungry (again) for some Italian Ice or another hot dog but mostly he was on his own. We had been letting him go on his own more and more this summer - here - so with the security being tighter there than at the airport I felt absolutely safe in letting him spread his wings a bit.

The end result? I was sad that my vision didn't play out. I wanted to have a bunch of time sitting there talking baseball with my kid, but it didn't work like that. I knew in my brain that it wasn't going to, but I set myself up for it anyway. We did get some time but between the poor views and the ridiculously long delays in the game so ESPN could get in their commercials it was hard for JAM to live up to my unrealistic expectations. My fault entirely, but it still doesn't take away from that little bit of the parent that mourns when the vision doesn't take shape quite like it was imagined.

Here's to good times, and realizing that I need to take what I get and be thankful for it.

Bedtime Routines

*Warning - this is a long post that will likely be of no interest to anyone else but it serves as a permanent reminder to this aged father who doesn't ever want to forget certain things about his babies.*

I'm sure almost every parent has their own version of this, but I wanted to post about my various bedtime routines with the 3 amigos before I got too old and/or senile to remember. It all started with JAM of course, and I've got to admit that I can only recall our routine as it started when he was about 4 or so. I've blocked out anything before that. If you knew JAM at the time you'll understand. :) Our routine was a fun combination of some things heavily influenced by his favorite movie at the time - Finding Nemo - and just general silliness that he and I seem to share a good dose of.

It went/goes like this... First we do the stuff influenced by our favorite character in Nemo... Dude Crush, and his little turtle son, Squirt. If you've never seen it, it starts with "Gimme some fin" which is a soft high five, then a "noggin" in which we bonk foreheads (this took some training as 4-year-old JAM had a tendency to be a little over zealous with this), and then we point at each other with both hands, roll our heads and say a good hippie-like "duuuuuuuuuude!"


Witness:

After that we did a high five, then medium five, then a low five which I always pulled my hand away and did the "too slow" thing. Then maybe another. Then maybe another six or seven until I let him get me and we said a final good night and I left the room. It was fun, and to be honest, I had a lot of trouble remembering the whole thing tonight as I started writing this. I even had to ask JAM about it, trying to make sure I had it right. The sad thing? He didn't really remember either. He's getting old! :(

WOW! I never thought I'd be sad about that!

I'll skip my little red-headed terror right now as she was really the impetus for this post and I want to talk about her last. So on to my "little" Pudge. He's still little so we haven't gotten too into silly routines or anything yet, but there is one thing we do while Wifey is putting Red to bed and I'm rocking in the glider with him. Back when I was solely responsible for putting Red to bed, while Wifey was still feeding Pudge at night, I used to sing a silly little song with her trying to do something repetitious and soothing to get her to understand this was the go-to-bed song. It was really simple - "Daddy and "Red" do rock-rock" over and over again, softer and softer each time. Don't really know where it came from but it stuck and we did it every night.

Now along comes Pudge, and I find myself back in the saddle with him so to speak, and the song has made a resurgence. With a little silliness thrown in of course. I'll start by doing the sing-song "Daddy and "Pudge" do rock-rock" while gliding back and forth. He's got his head on my left shoulder (always the left with his right thumb in his mouth - don't try to switch shoulders or you'll be SORRY!!!) and we'll do a few of these, then I'll throw in a "Daddy and "Pudge" do bounce-bounce" with a little bounce, then maybe a "Daddy and "Pudge" do wiggle-wiggle" with - you guessed it, a little wiggle. I do it because it makes him do his little-boy giggle, and he does it while his thumb is still in his mouth so it comes out stifled and even cuter. I love this kid right at this age - he's as cute as can be and it is horrible to say but unlike JAM (who was a terror in all facets of his day - most of the time) and Red (who has been a drama queen and a throw-a-switch-hysteric her whole short life), I don't want Pudge to change at all.

Do other parents admit to stuff like that? Did I just break some kind of unwritten rule or anything? I hope I don't lose my membership card for that.

Alright, so now on to my little Red. She's getting bigger, and smarter, each day. Our routine has always been the same since she transitioned into the lower bunk with JAM. I'll snuggle with her in her bed, she gives me three kisses (which I always count - 1... 2... then some random number from 4-99, anything but 3), then I give her my I love you kisses... I kiss her once and say "I", then a second time and say "love", then a third time and I'll say something other than "you." I do this a few times, always changing up the word choice. It usually starts with "cheeseburgers," but I'll throw in anything that comes to mind from the day or the book we've just read. Giraffes have made an appearance, and tricycles and airplanes and kumquats and rutabagas and lamp posts and ice cream... you get the idea. And after each one she'll usually laugh and say "NO!!!!! - That's not right!" until after three or four other things I'll finally promise to try really hard the next time and say "YOU!" and give her a horribly gross, wet kiss on the cheek. She'll giggle some more and I'll give her one last hug then climb out of bed. It doesn't end there though.

In almost Major League Baseball-like fashion she's invented this fun handshake-type thing that we'll do. First, we do a thumb bash with an explosion thrown in (way too hard to explain, just go with it), then a "I love you" in sign language bash with an explosion, then a regular old bash (think terrorist fist-bump from Obama fame) with an explosion, and finally what she calls a twisty bash which is where you wrap your index and middle fingers around each other and bump them together.

Wow, that took a long time to type for something that takes all of about 4.7 seconds to accomplish.

I've wanted to write this down for a while, so I never forget these silly, but very important to me, things. But, the real reason I thought to get this down tonight was I was reminded of a subtle but significant difference in our routine that happened for the second time tonight. As I mentioned, Red usually responds to my silly I love ____'s with a giggle and a "NO!" or "That's not right!" They've sometimes been so loud and giggly that Wifey has complained from the other room where she's trying to put Pudge down. But tonight? My little girl is getting smarter and smarter by the day. Rather than her simple "That's not right"'s, she came out with the much more thoughtful - "That's true, but it's not the right word." That's a big difference isn't it? I'm sure some helpful child development-type person that I know will slog through this ridiculously long ramble and let me know there is a name for this or she's moved into some different stage of thinking or something intelligent like that. But for me? I just thought it was another example of my little girl growing up and I didn't want to let it slide without mentioning it.

My hands hurt after typing all of this, but now I'll never forget. And that is the point of this blog anyway.

Oh, and the kicker? After all this feel-good growing up type stuff where Red is the star? A little "incident" tonight that I just had to capture for all time. We were walking down to a couple of friends of JAM's houses to hand deliver some birthday invites when I asked Wifey to go up into one of the buildings to deliver one in particular. I'd never met the family and for some reason my anti-socialness was kicking in. So I stayed outside with Red and Pudge. Oh what a BAD idea!!!! Red did not like it one bit that Mommy was going up into the building without her. And she had no qualms about letting the entire neighborhood in on her feelings.

Yes, I captured the moment with my fancy new camera phone...

I'm sure the other people going into the building and in the parking lot thought I was a nutter for letting her scream like that while videoing, but we've learned there is just no consoling her in those times and really - who wouldn't want ammunition like this for later in life?

I love these kids. Really, I do!

And you wonder why we're crazy

I took this video yesterday, and it is a bit long so I don't expect anyone to really watch it. Every once in a while, Red will start telling a story and it will never ever finish. Not only will it not finish, it rarely contains punctuation. Sentences can go on for minutes! I mostly took the vid to get a record of one of these huge diatribes to save for the future. But, I also liked it because it has glimpses into our typical post bath time routine and those are the things that you usually take for granted as activities that happen all the time but once the kids grow up you realize that they're not happening anymore and you miss them. So I took a video and captured some memories.

This takes place right after all the kids have been bathed, and the books are coming out for story time. But on this night, my sweet little Red decided she had a story to tell. And let me just preface it by saying that almost 100% of what she says is complete horse$%#@. What really happened yesterday? Wifey had the good fortune to have one of her online friends from her book club come into town for a visit and she and her family stopped over for a play date. Apparently they had a fantastic time, and aside from neither Red nor Pudge getting a nap (the friends were on west coast time so play time was right in the middle of our usual nap time), everything went really well.

With that said, I was a little surprised when Red came out with this story about how rather than playing outside nearly all day, she and Wifey had taken a trip down to my Dad's place to look for a book in their book basket. Seriously, she's absolutely nuts.

It is a nice vid though, in that it captures JAM being a great big brother to Pudge while reading and singing to him, and Pudge being a ham for the camera, and everyone just having a fun time. I love these crazy kids, and I love that time of night because everyone knows the routine and it is calm and peaceful and usually very loving. Except when Red throws a fit, then it's chaos, but that'll be a video for another time.

He speaks!

That's right folks, Pudge has spoken. His first sentence! Wifey and I have been a bit worried, but not wanting to say so, you know, fear of being "those parents." You know them. The ones that you meet in the grocery store or at the kid's birthday party, or where ever, that are always talking about when your kid did that or when their kid did this.


"OMG! He walked at 8 months? Ours didn't walk until 8 months 3 days!!!! We need to get him tested!"


This whole conversation is being had in light of our most recent experience with Red, who started conjugating verbs at like 10 months (wicked strange to have a less than one year old throwing out full sentences let me tell you). With her bizarre early development foremost in our minds, Wifey and I have been wondering in our collective heads whether we should be thinking about starting to wonder if we should be getting worried (that's us, real conclusive) that Pudge hasn't really taken to this whole speaking thing. Don't get me wrong, he does have some words going on. Milk, Mama, Dada, his favorite - NO!, move (we're working on excuse me to some success), more, nose, hair, hat, ears, etc. But, aside from our translation services, not many other people have any idea what he says and his vocab list isn't winning any awards.

So, imagine our surprise tonight as Pudge put his official first sentence together! Two whole words in a logical order to express a complete thought! My only regret happened to be him screaming "NO Dada!" at me after I put him in his highchair after having to remove him from running across our couch for the 8th time. It doesn't matter, he delivered his first sentence!!!! He's a genius, far smarter than those other parent's kids anyway.

My little babies...

Oh man oh man oh man.... these little kids are breaking my heart. But what a contradiction! One minute I'm wishing they would just grow up so we didn't have to deal with all the little breakdowns and tantrums (and that applies to JAM just as much as with the babies) and the next I'm wishing I could just hold their little bodies forever. All of them are growing so quickly - JAM with his monster adult front teeth, Red making new best friends wherever she goes, Pudge being able to climb to the top of the little play slide we've got out back... It is just killing me.

Yesterday, as I was hip-deep in trying to get my annotated bibliography done for class (not sure if I mentioned this, I'm going for another masters - this time a Master of Science in Management: Human Resource Management at UMUC) Red strolls downstairs after she woke up from nap. As she was sitting on the couch next to me, all sleepy eyed still, she sat straight up, her little hands on her knees and she started asking me something all serious like. The look in her eyes was one of such intense clarity, she was all into her thought, so grownup-like. There is a difference in her now, she's moving past that baby-like constant zooming from one thought to the next. She can settle her mind and really think about things now. Just last night Wifey and I were quizzing her on the names of people but asking her by asking about the relationships - like who's (friend) M's little brother? Or who's Pudge's older sister (a huge smile and a yell - RED!!!!!, although she doesn't refer to herself by Red of course :) ). She's so big.

Anyhow, as she was sitting on the couch, looking all grown up for a second, I just had to put everything else down, lay down on the couch next to her, and grab her for an extended snuggle. And you know what? She didn't even try to get away. I told her that I loved her and that pretty soon she was going to be too big for me to snuggle with like that and she just giggled. I love how she desperately wants to be a "big kid" but whenever we talk about it she just giggles like it is too silly to think about. I wanted to hold her forever but the next best thing is to write about it so I can save it that way. I love these little kids just the way they are - but I can't wait for them to grow up and get the hell out of my house. :)

As I was telling my colleague about our weekend, and relating the party we went to up with Orange's family, she instantly thought of a song she wanted to share with me. This is the same woman who turned me on to this video from a little ways back...

Although Darius is singing about his little girl, I couldn't help think about all of my babies, including my precious K who is getting much too old for me to comprehend, and the tears were hard to hold back.

Enjoy -

To Facebook or not to Facebook

Wifey and a lot of other friends have jumped on the Facebook bandwagon. I... have not. I have my reasons, both public and private ones. My friends all tell me that using Facebook is a great way to connect - with new friends as well as old ones. My usual comment is that if I wanted to get in touch with someone I would, Facebook or no. That is a safe answer. It is easy to say, understand, and get away with. I end up looking like a grump but that is a small price to pay to cover up the truth.

Back in March I posted about an instance where an old high school acquaintance contacted me and how much it scared me because I still carry a lot of baggage from that time in my life. I am still not at all comfortable with the idea of reconnecting with people that knew me when I was less than the person I wish I would have been. It's really tough for me to know how to work through that.

So, what's the reason for the timing of all this? Wifey showed me a page on Facebook that has dozens of people who graduated with me from HS back in 93. As I looked at the names and faces of kids I went to school with I couldn't help but feel all those same feelings again. Man, I've got a lot of work to do. Proven by recent events within my own family, getting over old impressions is about as tough as can be, even when you desperately want to move past them. How would it be dealing with people who have no personal interest in moving past old impressions? I know I still have all those thoughts and feelings about certain people. If I'm feeling this way, with all that I wish about moving on, I can only imagine how people would act who have no such feelings.

Maybe someday.... lot of work to do first.

Way too smart...

This little kid of mine is just too much. Last night, after we stopped off to get JAM and Red a haircut (Red's first BTW, pics soon), we took a quick run in to the local food mart (which I hate so I'll not be giving them any free press here). Way in the back, next to the other processed meat food (hot dogs and sausage) is a huge colorful display of the Lunchables. Perhaps you've seen these little bits of hell? If not, let me explain. Take a seemingly innocent enough lunch-time meal that a child might find enjoyable such as pizza, ham and cheese, hot dogs, etc. Then, jam and cram as much sodium and fat as you possibly can into these innocent looking, colorful, comes-with-a-treat, box lunches. Yeah, explaining why I'm saying no to these is not the easiest thing to do when confronted with a young child's pleadings. I mean, how bad can pizza fixings on a cracker be?

For example - Turkey/cheddar Lunchables

Um, I'm sorry. Did that say 48% of an adult's daily allowance of sodium? Combined with 45% of the daily recommended max for saturated fat?

And parents willingly let their children eat this garbage? Why exactly? I mean I know we shove a lot of crap into our own mouths but we're lost causes right? These are our children we're talking about!

Which segues nicely into the next part of my story. So here we are, in aisle 3, or as I like to call it "the aisle of killing me softly with meat by-products", with JAM begging me for a Lunchable. Now, this hasn't happened in quite a while because as you may know, JAM doesn't eat much of anything that isn't pizza, grilled cheese, PB&J, hot dogs, or pancakes. So when he comes out with "Daddy - will you please buy me a Lunchables?" I immediately said no of course but then wondered quietly to myself why he asked me that. But, with the other younglings two in tow and Wifey and I trying our hardest to get in and out as fast as we could I decided to shelve that question until later.

Then, while we were down perusing the fresh fruits and veggies (where we spend the most money by far - it's tough trying to do this right - those Lunchables are looking better and better all the time) JAM asks me a strange, what I thought of as out-of-the-blue question.... "Daddy, are Happy Meals bad for you?" At this point I'm distracted trying to figure out the difference between an organic green pepper and a grown-with-pounds-of-cancer-causing-chemicals green pepper when they are sitting right next to each other, looking exactly he same but one costing twice as much. So, in this distracted state I give my immediate answer - yes, of course Happy Meals are junk - almost everything at Mickey-D's is junk. Totally didn't see what came next.... do you?

So out comes his next question..... "Daddy, if Happy Meals are junk and you eat them why can't I get a Lunchables?"

Two things instantly crossed my mind. First, I am so totally never giving him the toy from a Double Cheeseburger Mighty Kids Happy Meal that I buy so I can get him the damn toy again. I mean, I'll still get my beloved double cheeseburgers (I am the King of the Dollar Menu), but he ain't getting squat. And, in the interest of full disclosure .... Double Cheeseburger Mighty Kids Meal.

ohhhhhhhhhhh... soooooo goooooooood....... Just look at all that protein!

The second thing that crossed my mind? This kid is too smart for his own damn good. Or mine. I blame his mother.

And you want to know the kicker to all of this???? He didn't even want the damn Lunchables! He just wanted to get some *&$%ing Star Wars card that is inside so he can play a $*%@ing Star Wars game on the Lunchables web site.

Sometimes you just don't see these things coming.

The little one? Not so little anymore!

My little Pudge is trying his hardest to become my big Pudge. He's launched himself into full crawling mode. Two or three days ago this was cute, even a cause for celebration. We were cheering his every movement, clapping with his each "step." See what I mean---

Now? Not so much. Dude has found his wheels. He is cruising around the living room now and we have a lot of fear in our hearts. You see, when the good gentlemen who built our house decided to put in a wood burning stove they obviously weren't thinking about young children. There is this nice wooden and ceramic tile platform and step up to our dining room that is just the kiss of death for little crawling and new walking babies. When Red was this age we padded everything with the cushions from our old couch. But, with that being our old couch we don't have those cushions anymore. We are left with the ledge of doom. Little man is in trouble. And we need some bubble wrap. Lots of bubble wrap. :)

The time has finally come.

In my estimation, part of having children, and being a responsible parent, is being very careful about what your children are exposed to and when. There are of course some times when you can't control what they come across but most times you can do a great deal to limit what your kids see and hear. For the past seven years we have done all that we can to control what JAM has seen, especially when it comes to the TV and movies that he watches. We've been around children and parents who speak of adult movies as if they were meant for young people, that four-year-olds going to see Spiderman or five-year-olds seeing Shrek are matters of course.

So, in a family where Star Wars has become part of our culture (no, not the real hard-core dress up like Stormtroopers stuff - although this is a great picture isn't it?) it has been really difficult keeping JAM from seeing the actual movies. We've known for a while that he has been getting close to ready so we started with some of the graphic novels last year for Christmas. He has honestly read each of them about 10-15 times. He has gotten his hands on all of my old Star Wars Legos and plays with them all the time. Really... all the time. Then, about two weeks ago JAM started to finally ask about seeing the movies. I smiled, knowing that it had only been a matter of time. But, I didn't say yes right away. I put him off for a while knowing that once this door was open it wasn't going to close again. I also knew that the earlier movies are far easier for younger viewers to handle. The movies made in the late 90's - early 2000's were much darker, more violent, and not at all appropriate for kids his age. So, after a few days of thinking about it we finally thought it was time. After a morning of a family breakfast outside, hanging out, playing in the rain and a little lunch it was naptime for the babies. And then it was movie time. And yes, JAM was out of his mind happy. It was all worth it. And, I am glad we waited until he was old enough to be really ready for it. He got to enjoy it, he understood (at least on a rudimentary level) the themes and why certain characters did what they did, and the smile on his face was just perfect.



I really didn't imagine the fun I would have watching this movie with my boy. I knew I loved the movies, and I knew he loved what he knew of the movies, but as I thought of putting those two things together I really focused on the appropriateness question, not the joy we would share. But as happy as I was for making him wait, I am happy for myself too. I didn't have to sit and cover his eyes or ears, I didn't have to answer any questions, I didn't have to censor anything. We just sat and enjoyed together. It was perfect.

Only now I have to think about how to time the viewing of the next movie. The credits hadn't even begun when he asked "Now can I watch The Empire Strikes Back?" That's my boy.


On a related note, I really recommend the Kids-in-Mind website for all parents to get acquainted with. We use it all the time before we even think about letting the kids see a new movie. It isn't a replacement for seeing the movies ourselves of course but it does give a ton of detail, more than even I think about as I watch the movies.

A few things on my mind...

First, HAPPY BIRTHDAY RED!!!!! That's right, my little lady is two today. So quick. Where did it go? I honestly look at pictures of her from 10-15 months ago and just wonder when the changes happened. She's so big now, using JAM's old three-wheeled scooter all by herself, hanging out and playing with the big kids in the yard, going down the three-story twisty slide of doom at the park this past weekend at her party. She is just amazing, and a ton of fun. What a wonderful two years it has been.

On another note of growing up, with JAM playing baseball now wifey and I started talking about the old Abbot and Costello "Who's on First" routine. JAM had no idea what the heck we were talking about. So sad. So, we had to school him. I found an .mp3 file of it but I then thought of the wonder of YouTube...





While I was searching for the Who's on First video I came across this... If you haven't seen it it is awfully funny. God I can't wait until January when this monkey is gone.

Happy birthday little one.

When my little baby girl became Red, when the hair came in, the "funny" words started. From friends, family, even strangers. "Oh boy... a fiery redhead!" I thought they were were talking out their collective patooties. Yeah, today proved them all right. Today was Red's birthday party. And what birthday is this you ask? Well, what one single birthday strikes fear into the hearts of parents everywhere? Yuppers.... Happy 2nd birthday (almost, the real day is the 8th) to my little Red. So now we have a two-year-old redhead. She melts my heart with her smile and her "I luv you's" but man oh man... what the hell did we do to deserve this? :)

Just a little taste of her typical mood today, with all of her friends, a wonderful party on a spectacular day, too many presents to count, a park and a huge playground...

Look at her. Much of today was spent alternating between huge happy slide-riding playground running and sullen, sad, and downright pouty. I love my little girl, but holy-crapola... she is a DRAMA QUEEN! Just like her mommy. hehehe

What a difference a year makes. Here is last year -

And here is this year -


Some more pics of the party:

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