Community Priorities

Got an email tonight through our community's listserv that I thought was a bit misguided, through no fault of the sender. Seems this person is a member of a tennis player's club or some such and they've been working for a while to get the tennis courts in my community resurfaced and lights put in. In and of itself - a very valiant effort and a true benefit to our community. Now it looks like the City Council will be discussing the funding for the project and she's trying to get folks to speak out, for or against the plan.

Here's part of her message:

It has taken several years to get to this point - where the Council might actually be considering making repairs. We have a very real concern that the city council will not approve the entire budget needed to resurface the courts (#1 - #4) and install the needed lights on all 8 courts. Please come and be part of the audience so the city council is reminded of the number of active tennis players in our community. Or come to give your opinion pro or con.

I used the word misguided in the beginning of this, and even with the general usefulness of her cause I still feel that way. Why? Because of the overall lack of _any_ suitable basketball court anywhere in the city. These folks are trying to get pretty usable (if I remember correctly) tennis courts resurfaced while there are absolutely zero usable basketball courts anywhere in town. Here was my response to her message:

This is in response to _____'s message about possible resurfacing of the Braden tennis courts. While I agree that it is important to repair the much used tennis courts I need to put something else out there for public consumption - the almost absolute lack of quality outdoor (or indoor for that matter) basketball courts in our community. I'm not sure what argument I could make to gain the attention of the city council, especially if a seemingly well organized group like Ellen's has been working for years to get repairs done on the tennis courts, but the current situation is absolutely laughable. This is even more true with our being a community where so many of our youth are eager for spaces to gather and play.

I started to compile a list of "courts" spaced around Greenbelt and on paper it seems quite impressive. I use quotes because none are close to full size, none have lights, most are downright dangerous. I know I don't have an absolutely accurate count but there are at least a dozen in various states of repair, and none are in any condition to play a safe game. I'd like the tennis players to try playing one game on the basketball court at Greenbelt Lake then you'd understand what's going on here.

Again, not taking anything away from the tennis players of our community, but if we had to make a decision according to the pure numbers of potential players I think building at least one decent basketball court would win. Or, maybe it's because most of those potential basketball players are young, non-voting, and (am I allowed to point out without starting a brouhaha?) *whispering* minority, that revitalizing our city's basketball courts hasn't happened?

I'm wondering if there's any hope of going to the meeting Monday night when they discuss this issue. Pretty sure JAM has a baseball game so it unlikely but at least, through this message, I've put my opinion out there.

Like I needed this?

Driving to work today I got behind another car while they decided to clean their windshield. This kind of thing is usually annoying but no big deal right? You just turn your wipers on, squirt a little cleaner and presto - you've got a clean windshield too.

Did this work for me? Take a wild flippin' guess.

My wipers decided that my life was way too boring and they wanted to add a little excitement so instead of turning off in the normal down and stored position they would turn off by staying up on the windshield. Fantastic. Oh, and you know what made this even sweeter? I was getting on the Beltway when this happened.

I did find a site where some kind soul had a similar problem (of all the sites that I found with solutions to this problem they were ALL about GM cars for some reason) who posted pictures and video about how he fixed it himself. Doesn't seem too difficult but now I'm looking at a few hours of working outside on my car in 20 degree temps this weekend.

For some reason this isn't doing anything to lighten my recently rotten mood.

Sorry Pepe but I'm never buying another GM.

Update - plane is canceled and Air Tran sucks

Yup, all flights have now been canceled. Can't say as I didn't see this coming but it still sucks to see it finally happen. I've been on the phone trying to get through to Air Tran for the last 30 minutes but I keep getting hung up on after ~2:55 into my call. I tried going online to switch my flight but there's a problem with their site and it won't let me choose a city in the departing cities list so then it yells at me and says I need to choose a departing city in order to make a change to the flight. I'm so mad right now. I need to get her on the first plane tomorrow but I CAN'T GET THROUGH TO THESE PEOPLE!!!!!

I hate Air Tran now.

Blizzard? Are you kidding me?

Dear God-

Why do you hate me? I try to be a good person, really I do. I pay my taxes, I hug my kids, I go to work almost every day and I haven't put salt on any slugs in at least 3 years. Or is it sugar? YOU SEE!!! I'm such a good person I don't even know what to do to slugs!

Now that we've established what a good person I am... I have to ask... a BLIZZARD??? SERIOUSLY? When's the last time PG County saw a blizzard? It had to be this weekend didn't it. Now THAT is holding with the tradition of my luck. If it's going to be strange and happen to someone it's definitely going to be me.

Thanks to this crazy storm K's second plane has been canceled and she's now booked on the fourth plane of the day. I decided to skip getting a seat for her on the third plane - the snow definitely won't be over by the time it was supposed to land. 50 fingers are crossed around here hoping that everything works out for tonight. Do you think you can wink or whatever it is you do in order to make things happen for us? We'd really appreciate it!

Thanks!!!

---

Yessireebob, we've got ourselves an honest to goodness wimpy blizzard. People from Syracuse or Oswego (look it up) would be laughing at us right now. At last check we're at 11 inches at the ol' homestead. This is a normal Tuesday for them. The kids loved it though. After breakfast we (Wifey) bundled them up and out we went into the snow. I think Red might remember last year's snow storm but I know this is really a first for Pudge - he didn't want any part of it and he slept through the whole sledding event last year. JAM, of course, was in his element. And I loved how the snow muffled all his crazy yelling! :) He can go as wild as he wants out there and not only is there no one around to hear him, they wouldn't be able to hear anything even if they wanted to. NICE!

I don't mind telling you that we were the only idiots out there shoveling right in the middle of a storm. Most of our sane neighbors were smart enough to be inside, cozy under some blankets while we were out with the kids. Wifey even took the lead with the shovel so I could go knock the car off. I knew it wouldn't matter but it helped to think that I'd only have to shovel out 1/2 of what everyone else was when it finally came to a stop.

Now we're getting ready to walk out the door, the sledding hill is calling. Can't drive there because apparently things are so bad out there that the county executive has said that all county roads are closed and police have been given the power to turn people around if they're out without dire need. Marylanders are funny.

Pictures forthcoming...

I'm angry

I know this post is going to be pitiful/a less-than-satisfying waste of time even as I start to write it but I've got no other outlet for my anger. Two things are on my mind, and in typical guy fashion I want to take steps to either fix the problems or at least lessen the pain but I can't do a damn thing about either. I'm going to be purposefully abbreviated (i.e. not go into huge detail) because this isn't about letting everyone else know all the dirty details, it is purely about me starting to get things off my chest.

First, my mother. I don't have words or emotions to adequately explain how much she continues to hurt me. I don't even think she's trying to, or at least I hope to God that her nastiness and back handedness are unintentional. We got her semi-traditional holiday letter and Christmas card in the mail today and it was chock full of happy bullshit - letting everyone know how much they (her and her drill Sergeant husband) loved spending time with their kids... how they loved making special time for their grand kids. Excuse me? I'm wondering exactly when she's ever made special time to be around my kids? THAT was at the heart of my issues with her and she never even acknowledged it, no matter how hard I tried. Yup, my JAM has well documented difficulties that made it tougher to spend relaxing time at the beach with him but it was always my thought that family was supposed to be able to deal with that - they were supposed to find a way to support the parents and shower the kids with love - no matter what the difficulties were. Lord knows we did it for other people's kids. But the same could never be said for little JAM. He was always the odd one out and our "peculiar" or "strict" way of raising him didn't help any. I know - not letting a two year old watch Star Wars or drink beer is just too outrageous to comprehend. And I can really understand how much of a burden it must have been for us to have asked for some help, or at least a visit, after her granddaughter and subsequent grandson were born. Yup, it was very rude of us to think they'd maybe reschedule a trip out west, or maybe just cut it short or something, in order to be here with us. No, that's too much like selflessness and the only "self" that works in this family is selfish.

I'm digressing... so the first thing that got to me tonight was her bat-shit crazy letter and her little personalized note saying how next year she hoped that she'd have more to say about spending time with us. Yeah, as soon as she makes the least bit of an effort to say she hears our message and she's going to work on not treating us like second class citizens...

The second thing that happened tonight, as if I really needed a second thing, happened at JAM's school. We've been lucky enough to have JAM attend his school even though we live about 18 feet past the boundary into another horrible district. Yup, that huge ugly highway right outside our door? That's the boundary between the have's and the have-not's. In the beginning, JAM was going to before and after care at his old babysitter's place in the "good" district so we were able to get a special transfer for him to go to the "good" school. It didn't hurt that I was working in the school system at the time so getting the transfer was easy. In the three years since we've had really great relationships with the Vice Principals at the school and continuing the transfer has never been an issue. We've been involved, we've volunteered and donated (even more than we really should have money-wise) and been supportive of the school and the teachers the whole time. We thought we'd earned some credit.

Now though, the system is making noise about not allowing special transfers anymore. None. Not for any reason that I know of although I'm sure there are special-special transfers that will be allowed to continue. I mean, some boys just need to continue putting ball through hoop at certain schools right? So anyhow, we're at the school again tonight, supporting and participating in the book sale and art night when Wifey makes a comment to the Principal about her fears re: the transfers. The Principal's response? Paraphrased - "Oh - that school isn't so bad!" Yup, no concern about our little boy having to pull up roots, lose all his friends, go out of his neighborhood to another school... just - "don't worry - I'm sure he won't get shived."

So there you have it. I felt just fine until right after dinner when the shitstorm hit. And I'm not sure if you've noticed but I've made it a point of pride not to have cursed - at all - ever - on my blog. I'm making a special exception just for tonight.

What's good for the goose...

I've got to admit to a bit of hypocrisy. It started with a simple little email sent to a friend asking if he was feeling alright after not hearing from him in a while. It reared its ugly head again yesterday when I made my innocent little comment to Wifey. But much like my friend and Wifey, I know I haven't been recording what's been going on in my own simple world either.

And I know why too. Although I've known for a while I just haven't wanted to put it out there. But, I need to keep reminding myself of the promise I made when I started this thing. This is my space and I need to use it to record what's going on in my life, and hopefully as honestly as possible. So, here goes.

Life, for the last few weeks, has - in the immortal words of Mike Myers from Wayne's World - blown chunks. I haven't been interested in just about anything and as stupid as some people might see this, I think it all boiled over when a fat guy fell on me. It's hard to put into words, but ever since then I've just felt like garbage. I knew I put a lot into those morning games as a way to keep myself grounded and get out my much bottled-up aggression, but I never thought I would feel quite this crappy without them. I guess I always figured that if I ever had to stop playing, maybe if my schedule changed and I couldn't play in the mornings or something like that, I'd quickly find something to replace it. But in this situation I can't even do that!

Okay, so there's that part of the problem. Now lets add the double fact that 1.) I can't even kick a ball in the yard with my kids and 2.) in all honesty I get home too late to do much of that anyway. The late arrival-quick transition into dinner-bug infested yard has had a very negative impact on my instigation of outside quality time with the 3 amigos. I've never been really great at the inside-sit down type quality time stuff like Wifey is able to whip up. Painting, games, puzzles, playing cars, etc. etc. - I just can't seem to get excited over. I've always been far better at outside play but I think we've reached a critical juncture. I think we need to do something about both the schedule AND my interest in sitting on the floor-type quality time. I don't think anyone is in danger of starving when I get home, so I think an adjustment of the schedule might be doable. But, that would require a father able to play with them. I've got work to do.

Adding to this (this is really hard to admit in a public forum but its not like everyone else doesn't go through it too) is the lack of connection Wifey and I have been going through. Again, it didn't exactly start from scratch with the knee thing, but since then poor Wifey has had to deal with four helpless kids instead of three, then to top it all off she got wicked sick while I wasn't able to pick up much of the slack. I know everyone goes through times like this, it is a part of being in a relationship, but it is just so hard to deal with so many issues all at the same time.

The cherry on top has got to be the more difficult financial situation we've been in since #'s 2 and 3 came along and Wifey started staying home to be with the babies. It is such an amazing thing for her to be there for them (I know I couldn't handle being home all day every day - I've got much respect for all the moms and dads who can do that) but if I'm being honest it has definitely taken its toll. We've talked about the impact of working vs. not working - the cost of child care would likely wipe out most of the added income, then add to that the costs of her not being able to take care of the hundreds of little every-day things she does during the week. Having to get everyone up and out of the house way early in the morning, getting home late after picking everyone up, then worrying about a dinner and homework and play time and baths and bed.... It just seems like a whirlwind that would sweep us away. I have a generous respect for people who make that work as well. All this works to add to the daily mental baggage though. We're (like most people) literally one car accident or water heater meltdown (I just realized I never posted about the almost-fire we had with our water heater!) or water main break away from a really bad situation. We can't take actual family vacations, a dinner out once in a while is an extravagance...

I'm even annoying myself with all of this. But the point is made. It drags on the mental outlook.

Hopefully my outlook will clear up some as I start to get back to normal and that will help - but a break is needed. Personally, as a couple, and as a family, there is much work to do. But thank God that I've got them with me to work with - I'd never want it any other way.


**Update - I just realized how bizarre it is to have this post and the post immediately under it right next to one another. Seriously, happiness should be far easier to come by.

I should just learn to be quiet

I've said it before, and I'll likely say it again. I should just learn to be quiet. I'm not typically a believer in jinxes but this one should take the cake. If you don't know, I'm a huge basketball player. No, not at all skilled enough to call myself anything other than a (to use golfer terminology) duffer. Basketball players might call me a hacker or a chucker. No, I'm not really that bad, but I ain't in any danger of being offered a shoe contract. :)

So where does this jinx thing come into play? I was having a conversation with one of my basketball buddies the other day about injuries, commiserating about all the ankle sprains we've had in the past (I've sprained each ankle about 6-8 times each) and for some ridiculous reason I marveled OUT LOUD (!!!) that I've never had a real knee injury. WTF was I thinking?

Do you see where this is going yet?

Yup, it happened yesterday morning. I was minding my own business, guarding my guy underneath the basket when someone on my team stepped on the foot of someone on the other team which caused him to fall. Where did he fall you ask? Right onto my foot. That's not too bad you say. I'd agree with you if it had stopped there. But, said falling fat guy didn't just stop after falling on my foot but he continued to roll up my leg which was pinned to the floor under his fat a$$. Not sure if you're a fan of the NFL but stuff like this happens all the time to the linemen but those guys all wear huge knee braces now. Me? Nope, no knee brace. I saw it coming, felt it right away, and immediately screamed like a little girl and fell down. I'm so happy that I didn't hear a pop which is the tell-tale sign of a ligament tear. It hurt like a somnabitch but after a few minutes the endorphins kicked in and I thought I was just being a wuss at first. I was even able to hobble off the floor, down to the elevator and took a shower in the locker room.

What the hell was I thinking? I knew I was in bad shape in the shower when my knee tried to fold sideways on itself. I got really lucky after I got dressed when a gym employee came in to collect towels and asked me if I was okay. I had to admit that I wasn't, and he asked if he could help me get to the car. Yup, I got wheeled out of there in one of those PVC pool wheelchairs. I had every intention of finding a doctor to go to but only after I made an appearance at a meeting I had at work. That plan was blown out of the water when I tried to climb in the front seat to drive and my knee tried to buckle sideways again like it's just not supposed to. So, my new BFF Trevor from the Columbia Gym was nice enough to drive me and my van to the hospital in Columbia so I could get myself checked out. I just can't help but think that things like that just wouldn't happen in PG County.

After spending waaayyyy too long in the ER of this lovely hospital I learned that there was no bone damage but they refused to do an MRI to check the ligaments. What is all this crap about doctors prescribing needless tests???? Not for me they didn't. So now I've got to wait until next week to even begin to find out what is wrong in there. I just know that it feels like crap, it wants to constantly bend sideways like the inside ligament is totally gone, and my whole body hurts after spending most of two days sitting in the same position. This sucks. I have no idea how long I'll be laid up adding yet another burden onto my already overworked and under rested beautiful Wifey. I feel like crap that I'm adding more work to her plate. She's amazing, not showing any ill feelings toward me because of my predicament. I don't deserve her. She's amazing and I love her.

We'll see how she feels about me by the end of next week.

Another round of thanks

Having "enjoyed" a weekend of playtime with my Dad and JAM, I need to share my thanks. And I'll explain the quotes in a moment. This past weekend was the second annual (here for the first) boy's trip up to Williamsport, PA for the opening weekend of the Little League World Series. I feel like I said it all last year, except for another huge round of thank-you's to my Dad for joining us and especially for picking up the hotel tab. Wouldn't have been able to do the trip without that help so aside from being able to spend real quality time with him and JAM, he was really responsible for the whole thing and it was much appreciated.

But, I need to explain the quotes from above. "Enjoy" is about how I'm feeling about the whole trip and it is almost exclusively my fault. Much like every parent I'm sure, I have certain mental images running around in my noggin about how things are going to play out in all sorts of situations. I have visions for high school graduations, first weddings, second weddings (joking!), grandkids, very lucrative employment so these dang kids can take care of us when we're old and poor, etc., etc. This weekend was on a slightly smaller scale but not really any different. I had a vision, especially after last year and all of our (JAM and me) talks about what to expect this year, of being able to sit and actually watch some baseball with my Dad and my son. You know, we'd talk about what was going on down on the field, I'd explain some of the finer points of the game to my baseball-playing/loving son. We talked before hand about our (read - "MY") plan. Hill sliding would be fine, yes we'd get some treats along the way, yes we'd visit the fun-zone and throw balls and act silly at the games, but we-were-going-for-the-purpose-of-watching-baseball. (!!!)

Yeah, didn't so much work out that way. We brought our lawn chairs (which was a good idea because those hard metal bleachers are not so kind on the 'ol posterior) but that also meant we had to set up on the upper flat area in the outfield. And that meant sitting behind other people (locals) who know more about this setup than we do and they get there early and take up huge portions of the flat space so no matter what you have to sit behind someone. Wow, that was a long sentence and I'm sure not at all grammatically correct. So here we were, sitting behind mostly empty folding chairs but that meant JAM couldn't really see. And when you can't see something all that well you tend to get kinda bored with it. Can't blame him one bit. But, once you get bored you quickly find other things to do, including sliding and wanting treats and all the other crap we'd talked about.

To make an already long story shorter - JAM did very little baseball watching. Which meant that we got to do not as much baseball watching as we would have liked. For my Dad and I, we could sit in the outfield all dang day and watch wild pitch after passed ball (seriously, someone teach these kids how to catch already!!!) nice and serenely. JAM's got to move - no surprise there. And, for the most part, I let him go off on his own. For long periods of time too. We brought his (my old) pay-per-use phone so he had a way to get in touch with me if he had to but for the most part he just went off and played the games and went sliding and whatever the heck else he did. He showed up when some kid laughed at him on the hill (seriously, he needs to learn to laugh at himself a little bit so not everything is quite the end of the world drama he thinks it is), or when he was hungry (again) for some Italian Ice or another hot dog but mostly he was on his own. We had been letting him go on his own more and more this summer - here - so with the security being tighter there than at the airport I felt absolutely safe in letting him spread his wings a bit.

The end result? I was sad that my vision didn't play out. I wanted to have a bunch of time sitting there talking baseball with my kid, but it didn't work like that. I knew in my brain that it wasn't going to, but I set myself up for it anyway. We did get some time but between the poor views and the ridiculously long delays in the game so ESPN could get in their commercials it was hard for JAM to live up to my unrealistic expectations. My fault entirely, but it still doesn't take away from that little bit of the parent that mourns when the vision doesn't take shape quite like it was imagined.

Here's to good times, and realizing that I need to take what I get and be thankful for it.

My view of the struggle

Corrine, Wifey's good friend, posted about a tough day. Even saying it like that doesn't do it justice. It was one of those days that makes parenting not seem worth the effort. How sad is that to admit to. We've all had them. We do our best, maybe a little of our worst comes out, but no matter what we try the kids don't want to work with us. Her story made me think about bedtime last night, when I got fed up by the lack of love coming my way...

I come at this conversation from a different angle than Corrine, or Wifey - I'm gone almost 90% of the kid's day. When I do get home it is dinner, maybe a little play, bath, books and bed. With a HUGE amount of screaming and general mayhem thrown in. The end result is the very small amount of time I get to see my 3 amigos is usually quite chaotic. I try to savor every bit of it, but when my little girl throws a fit each and every night, screaming that she wants Mommy to put her to bed (and now the littlest one has learned to join in) it's really hard to grin and suck it up and try to be happy with them. Tucking in should be a happy time, not a time for ear-shattering screaming right?

I lost it last night. I'll try to do better tonight. I know it is silly and a waste of time and energy to expect these little people to understand that it is nice to share the love. How can they know how important it is for Dad to get some snuggle time too? It's not that they don't want Daddy time, it's just that as soon as the book is done it is Mommy or else. It's tough on Wifey to be all things to all people so I try to stick up for her and say nope, it's a Daddy night. But then the screaming starts, as it always does, and I end up leaving the room to one unhappy 3 year-old. I/we should know better. Having Mommy climb into bed after putting the other down is a small price to pay for peace and happiness, we just have to remember that in the moment.

I feel like a giant

Even seen Night at the Museum? The scene where the little cowboy played by that crooked nosed pretty boy whatshisname calls Ben Stiller's character Gigantor? That's how I feel right now. I'm sitting on the couch trying to type on Wifey's teeny-tiny little netbook (remember this? I just realized I never followed up with the story that I did get her an Acer netbook - the Aspire one. Nifty little thing, and little is definitely the key word there.). Why am I reduced to using this bastard stepchild of a laptop you ask? Oh, only a little incident at work. NO! Not "my" incident thank you. I actually had nothing to do with this.

The result? The Lab has shut down all 'net access for almost a week, and we've been told not to take any equipment out of the Lab until its all been wiped and checked and given a proctology exam for all I know. What I do know is that I've got like a dozen blog posts swirling around in my nogggin and I can't do a damn thing about them because typing on these little keys are making me want to chuck this thing out the window.

And I thought I was doing a nice thing for Wifey when I picked this little jewel up at Costco. Man, even when I'm trying to be nice I turn out to be a douche bag.

I'll be back online once they give the all-clear, but until them consider me living in the 1980's.

As they say - when it rains...

You know, I really appreciate the old saying - when it rains, it pours. Here we were, thinking that we were seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I mean, check this out...

Crown molding! Up on the ceiling! Really! We did it!

| |

|

I couldn't have done it without my pops.

| | |

Dad went all out on the painting too. I really hate painting trim too so a huge thank you to him!

We even got to the point of puttin' it all back together. Wow, it was nice to move the TV unit and couch back into place. We went from this...

To this...

And finally, to this...

But then, the rain started falling again. And where we least expected it. Poor Wifey had to call me at work today with quite a unique question. It went something like - "Is water supposed to drip out of the crown molding in the kitchen?" Um, excuse me? Yeah, I had to come home after that one. Seriously, WE JUST PAINTED THAT WHOLE ROOM!!!!!

There aren't words to really express how frustrated we are that we had to cut holes in our nicely painted wall and ceiling. I'll let the pics show it...

|

HOLES!!!! IN OUR CEILING!!!! SONOFAMOTHERPIECEOFHOLYGRRRAAAAAHHHHH!

But, who can stay mad when this walked into the kitchen when I was just about to throw my ladder through the window?

|

.

My (not so) little boy

Two things on my mind tonight, both having to do with my big guy, who is just getting bigger and bigger. As a result, the topics we're dealing with are also getting bigger and bigger. First, the bad news... just because I want to get it out of the way. My poor skinny little eight-year-old got punched for the first time today. We don't have the whole story yet, just the JAM version (which we learned very quickly to not use as the definitive truth - he's as bad a story teller as his poor 'ol Dad), so we're waiting to hear back from his school tomorrow. The new Vice Principal is on the case, and she is just the best thing ever, so I know we'll get the whole story from her.

But, from what we can gather from JAM, it was a pretty out of the blue thing. The bus pulled up to JAM's stop and he stood up and tried to get out of the seat. He was sitting against the window in a seat with two other kids as his bus is always packed to the gills and they sit three to a seat. When he got up to try to leave the kid next to him turned around and nailed him in the right cheek. That's the story we got. No premeditation, no pushing or shoving, no nasty words, just a shot straight to the face. I'm sure you can see why I'm waiting to hear if there is more to the story. Who knows, it may just have been a really bad day for this sixth grader (yes, a sixth grader punched my third grader in the face!!!!), they might have had words getting on the bus, JAM might have shoved him accidentally while trying to grab his backpack, but there is no call for something like that. It took some calm breathing on my part when I got the call from Wifey while I was still at work. Father's first reaction is to protect you know?

I'll update tomorrow hopefully. I just wish other parents were spending as much time trying to raise good kids as we are. And no, I don't feel bad about saying that at all, I live in this community, I see the garbage around me every day. We try to help JAM understand what it means to make good choices every single moment of the day, even when adults aren't around. I want to raise my kid to be a good person. Trying to do that in an area surrounded by questionable family values is just so tough.

Now, on to the good stuff (but unfortunately, even the good stuff comes with a lot of hurt for Mom and Dad).

We got a very interesting piece of mail the other day. It seems JAM's teacher, who until this point has not given us any indication that she cares at all for our child, nominated him to attend something called the National Young Scholars Program. I'm still trying to find out what this thing is (first reaction was thinking this was something like those Who's Who deals where anyone can send in $25 to get their name in a book), but from what I've read of the materials they sent to us I'm impressed. The program is a week-long academic camp focusing on leadership with the student choosing from one of three other "Discovery Strands." There are three locations to choose from, none of them easily gotten to for us - northern VA, Chevy Chase and Towson with the Chevy Chase camp being a residential camp. It sounds just amazing with so much opportunity and potential for growth. JAM needs to be constantly challenged or I fear he'll end up like me... bored with school, and in looking for something to do, he'll end up constantly getting in trouble.

The upside has been established right? It sounds great, the extended summer learning opportunity, the time away from home surrounded by really bright kids, the fact that he'll know he was nominated by a teacher who hasn't, until now, shown any interest or acknowledgement of his abilities...

The downside?

$1,990 for the six-day program.

There is no way we could pay a third of that. I don't know what else to say except it really sucks to not be able to provide everything your family needs. I'm so proud of JAM and at the same time it really, really hurts.

What does it mean for me and mine?

Warning--- this is what I call a bummer post. Not fun, not light-hearted, just me getting crap out of my head in a way that helps me think. But, this place is mine right? Feel free to jump here if you need a giggle. Sorry...


I've been trying to figure out what Obama's stimulus package might mean for my family, specifically our housing situation. We were only able to buy this place when JAM was old enough to go to Wifey's school and we no longer had the $700 in child care costs to shell out each month. We weren't rich, ever, but we were able to afford the house. A few years later we thought it would be a nice idea to expand a bit and along came Red. Wifey kept working, part time, and the house was still doable and we were even able to go out to eat once in a while. Then, Pudge reared his cute-as-hell head and things have gotten very different.



With Wifey home keeping my babies safe and caring for them like no other sane person could stand to do (you'd get it if you spent some time in our home on any given day, trust me), the house has now overpowered us. The mortgage is getting paid, as is all the other "have-to" bills, but the credit card is suffering. We used to be good. We didn't go crazy on anything really. No vacations, no expensive toys/TV/computer/car/etc., no real happy spending except the occasional eating out.



Then came the layoff. That was not a good time. It was short, but it wasn't good. Then the price of food went through the roof. Then gas followed. Our barely hanging on selves weren't really hanging on anymore. We've gotten things largely under control (lifestyle, even one as simple as ours, is hard to change) but I hate to admit that we are still living in the red. Classic case of too much going out and not enough coming in. We aren't going to lose the house, the car is paid off (was paid off early thanks to a generous gift!), we can still afford to buy groceries, but the foreseeable future looks bleak.



So, that explains my mindset as I began hearing about Obama's plans to assist homeowners. At first, I'm pretty sure I heard "new home buyers" - which we weren't. We're regular 'ol people who could use help but aren't among the poor folks who've already lost so much. But if I'm hearing things right, it seems that the stimulus might be showing some promise for helping even folks like us out.


I've included two resources that are leaving me feeling more optimistic. I hope I don't ever have to ask for help. But it is nice to know that help might be out there if necessary.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=100855478&ft=1&f=3

http://www.usatoday.com/money/economy/housing/2009-02-18-obama-foreclosure-plan_N.htm

Piss and vinegar is more like it

Sugar and spice? Are you flippin' kidding me? This little girl is a true gift. The only problem is... I haven't figured out whether she was sent from above or below.

Tonight was a doozy! Wifey took off after dinner, about 630ish, to go to PTA. Big Red was not at all pleased that Mommy was headed out the door so Daddy dipped into the 'ol bag of tricks and totally bribed her with a Halloween candy when we went upstairs for bath. All was well as Pudge got into the tubby and Red munched her peanut MnM's. Things were even very nice as the two started playing with the Rescue Heroes and these plastic tubey things we have in there that the kids use to make trumpets and pour water on themselves with. The night went downhill quick from there let me tell you. Pour Pudge was minding his own business trying for all his life to suck the paint off the foot of one of the Rescue Heroes when Red accidentally bumped him on the forehead, which, by the way, he had just slammed into the hearth. So, I tell Red to please be careful and watch out for her little brother. What does she immediately do? Knock him in the same spot again.

Seriously?!!?

So, I thought it was important to get her to realize what she had done and get her to at least acknowledge it with an "I'm sorry." Ohhhhhh. Bad idea that. This little peach decided to go mute. I really hate it when she does that. Looks you right in the eye and pretends she doesn't know how to speak. Daddy doesn't do well with that. I know it. I'm a reasonable adult who knows he shouldn't let a two-year-old get his goat. Yeah right. She kills me with this every time. And I fell for it again. I'm a dummy. I didn't let it go. I thought it was worth it to make her at least say the words. It escalated. She started to cry. She lost story. She cried harder but refused to acknowledge her brother. She lost snuggles. She cried harder. She was threatened with immediate bed time. I picked her up out of the tub and gave her one last chance to just please-for-the-love-of-all-that's-holy say "I'm sorry!!!!" No dice.

One thing Wifey and I promised never to be (hard to say never but we've probably stuck to this about 98%) those parents who say one thing then give in to the crying and whining. We try to never say something we aren't prepared to follow through on and we've learned to always be very measured in our "threats." So when I got to the point of "bed or else" I knew that I might potentially have to follow through.

She was in bed at 7:02. What's normal bedtime? 8ish. Life was not good. I asked JAM to hang out with Pudge as I got her dressed and into bed and he was a champ. He was having a great time playing with Pudge when I got back into the bathroom so I asked him if he wanted to take a stroll down memory lane and jump in to play. So as the two boys played in the tub we were serenaded by the lovely musical stylings of Red screaming from her bed in the next room. Oh it was lovely.

After Pudge was done with tub, and JAM was taking his own shower, I relented a little bit and got Red back out of bed for a story. It was a good thing too, she told me she had to use the bathroom. We then moved back into normal territory and read a story and did our almost normal bedtime routine and felt so much better by the time the lights went off.

Yeah, I caved. A bit. Guess there isn't really an "always" or even a right way to do all of this but we can only do our best right?

Only 16 more years right?

*shaking head*

Just this once....

I'm only going to make one post on this. Wifey is doing enough politiblogging (I wonder if anyone else has said that or if I just made that up? That would be cool huh?) for the both of us and she does it so much better than I could ever possibly hope to. But, this is my one. ONLY ONE.

Folks - everyone really needs to understand that this woman has a very real chance of being our President within the next few years (have you seen McCain's neck???) -

And this???

Scary as hell. But, is it any scarier than having Bush as President these last 4 years? I'll bet good ol' GW is extremely happy no one ever took video of him almost killing his brother in a drunk driving rage.

And, what post about Sarah Palin would be complete without letting John Stewart have his say?

And I'll leave you with this....

Real learning

JAM is one smart kid. I'm not one of those nutter fathers who was convinced his kid was bound for Yale while he was still in the womb. I have no pretentious notion that he will be the next Gates or Obama (hehehe). But, even though his school is trying to drill it out of him he still does love learning and I love that. Everyone who knows him knows he is a reading maniac. He went through the new Tiki Barber book in a day. I think he read it again the next day. You should have seen our friend Bin's face when she heard that. :) It was priceless.

So, why the blatant outpouring of pride? First, as I mentioned, the school system is trying their hardest to kill his love of learning with hours and hours of drill and kill. Gotta pass that test. HE'S IN 3RD GRADE FORCHRISTSAKE!!!! Let them enjoy learning for a little while longer! [Does anyone know of a school for kids who aren't in danger of failing and can read on or above grade level and even love math who don't need to be drilled into the ground to ensure they pass the damn test?] Even through all this my kid still loves to learn. If something is new, and exciting, but still learning, he'll eat it up. God I love that.

Second, my kid not only loves learning but he loves doing it with him mom and I. He will go anywhere, watch anything, read anything, with this bright light in his eyes. We've been to the zoo, the butterfly garden, the Smithsonian, the National Book Festival, real life practical learning opportunities. He loved them all. Today I found an article on the TechLearning site telling us about this cool add-on to Google Earth that shows over 12,000 objects that are orbiting Earth. You've got to check this out - it was very cool once JAM's wanna-be-geek dad figured out how to use it. :) So, here we were, it was 8pm on a school night, and we were spending our "special time" learning all about orbit, satellites, trajectory, USSTRATCOM, software like Google Earth.... I'm not sure if I made this obvious enough..... HE WAS LEARNING WHILE HAVING A GREAT TIME DOING IT!!! I really wish his school would learn how to do that. Having him sit next to me with an amazing smile on his face as we turned on and off individual orbital trajectories and set the Earth spinning. It was beautiful. He was beautiful.

Take a deep breath

Today was a hard hard day.

Today was D-Day. "D" as in Done with current job. "D" as in Destitute. "D" as in I woke up with a huge headache after having bad dreams all night about the prospect of not getting the phone call I was hoping to get. Yeah, that didn't start with D but I D-serve some slack after the last three months.

June 30 marked the last day of my position with the Center of Technology in Education at The Johns Hopkins University. I spent the last (almost) year there working with some wonderful people in creating an online graduate program for technology leaders in a local school district. The teachers I worked with were great and the folks I worked with at CTE were great but I can honestly say I was not exactly stretched. I spent my time learning and reading and conversing about all things e-Learning, emerging technologies, instructional design, etc. But, there is only so much time you can spend in a day with your head buried in a journal (or staring at a computer screen reading online journal articles as the case may be). I needed more, I asked for more, but more was not forthcoming. I anticipated the end, but I hoped that I was being neurotic. Turned out I wasn't. I was given a few months to find a new position, under the guise that funding had been cut for my position (which I think was at least half-true), but it turned out to be the hardest few months of my life. This is especially true because I had just gone through the whole job-search process a year earlier when my position at PGCPS had been cut by the fabulous new CEO. I wasn't ready to go through all that again. I knew how hard it was to find a new job. I had thought I found the one. Oh-well.

So I started looking. I sent out countless applications and resumes. I was invited to dozens of interviews. I was down to the wire for about 4 different jobs. I didn't get any of them. I started to lose hope. It was hard. With Wifey home with the kids it is pretty old-fashioned around here with it being my sole responsibility to "bring home the bacon." Forget that, it really looked like I wasn't going to be able to bring home a pig's foot, let alone the bacon.

Then, something D-vine happened...

Wifey has a wonderful friend who married a wonderful man. That wonderful man happens to have a job at a place that I had been trying to get an interview with for (literally) months. I knew I was ready for that job. I knew I had what they wanted. But after being up against hundreds of other people for each of the previous jobs (thanks to our wonderful leader and his war in Iraq and the resulting depression that we aren't allowed to call a depression) it wasn't looking too good that my resume would be picked out of the pile. But, this is when Wifey's lovely friend's lovely hubby stepped in and got my foot in the door. I did have a few fall-back opportunities with local school systems but this was the job I wanted. I wanted to stay within the JHU community, I wanted to be challenged, I wanted to be able to build a position and have real responsibility with real people counting on me. That was what this job offered. I wanted it.

I got a call for a phone interview. It went well. It got me a second phone interview. It went well again. It got me a many-hour interview with a few different wonderful people. That went really well. I was invited back for a final interview and the most nerve-wracking presentation I have ever given. I didn't know the topic, I was not an expert, and I was standing in front of a panel of folks who lived what I was trying to tell them about. The nicest thing was that they didn't laugh at me. They listened, they asked impressive questions and I was able to provide reasonably coherent answers. It went well.

I got a call today. "D" day. The day when I no longer had a job or insurance or any way to support my family. I got the job. And there was much rejoicing.

I am very much looking forward to my first day. This next year is going to be a hUGE learning experience for me. But the folks I will be working with are amazing, they are all interested in learning as much from me as I am from them, and they seem to be willing to let me grow into this position. I can't wait. The challenge is long overdue.

Rain, rain, go away...

Please? No, seriously, GO AWAY!!!!!

Day 2 of the monsoon. It is really lovely to watch all of our hard work get literally washed away.